We here at Speakerbox are about formulating real life solutions to real life problems. In Episode 1, “The Bae Epidemic”, we sent out the official memo to remove ‘bae” from your lexicon. You can listen to our air-tight logic for this decision below, but we wanted to further enrich your lives by providing a quick & dirty list of alternative terms of endearment. Since “bae” is a pseudo relationship title applied to people you have absolutely no intention of ever being with, this list should be used in situations where the word “date” is replaced with things like “hang out”, “kick it”, “meet up”, or “come through”… This is very important information people.
#1: The Classics
For those that like to keep it simple, “baby”, “babe” and “boo” should suffice. As long as you don’t tack on a word that implies possession or ownership of the situation (e.g “my boo”, “my baby”), you should be good.
#2: The Confidence Boost
Give that convenient, errr I mean special person in your life a little confidence boost by using a compliment as a term of endearment. “Handsome”, “sexy”, “beautiful”... whatever. It gets the job done without inferring the existence of a relationship!. Thank me later.
Simple. Take two unrelated cutsey words & slap them together. Boom! You have yourself a 100% original nickname that means absolutely nothing. “Cuddleboots”, “sugarsweets”, “fluffypuffs”; I can pump these things out all day.
Yes, words. Any word. Pick one. Now, change your tone of voice to that insufferable pitch that you reserve for ya boo. See? It sounds like something special, but it’s not. Yay!
#5: Their Got-Damned Government Name
Nothing reminds a person that you aren’t in a relationship more than exclusively referring them as their got-damned government name. Avoid that awkward conversation after you introduced him/her as your “friend” to the homies. Nobody has time for the “what are we?” talk. Nobody.
Wellllp, that should get you going as you mourn the loss of your beloved “bae”. Let us know if you have anything to add to our list in the comment section!