Smurf ain’t no hypocrite. So when I tell you that not even a full week after airing “The First is the Last” (a.k.a #TurnDownTime), I found myself above the socially accepted levels “turntness”. I’ll spare you the humbling details, but if you scour the Capitol Hill police reports you may or may not find an account of my exploits. *silver lining* maybe I’ll find fame in Police Reports Illustrated!
Never one to miss out an opportunity to take a look at the woman in the mirror, I sat down with two Advils & a bit of the hair of the dog to reflect on the factors that contributed to my undoing. As a public service to all of you, I present the Top 5. Learn from my mistakes people…
#1 - Mood
Before I even left the house, my mood was trash. The whole squad was stepping out & for whatever reason we decided it would be best to take one car. How you fit 13 people into one whip, I’ll never know. All I know is that 75% of the people involved in the discussion were intoxicated & proceeded to offer up increasingly inconceivable methods to keep the dream alive (winner = midnight hot air balloon ride). Irritated & all too eager to step foot on a dance floor, I got testy & threatened to take a cab. Long story short, my shitty mood set the tone for the rest of the night.
#2 – Drank in my Cup
Remy XO. ‘Nuff said.
#3 – Goon Squad
If you know me, you know I NEVER roll deep. It’s usually a friend or three, but rarely do I step out in groups larger than four. This particular night, I was a part of a much larger group and was feeling particularly rowdy (most likely due to a combination of #1 and #2). Give ya girl a couple of shots & she turns into Thug Misses. Smh…
#4 – Delusions of Grandeur
Full disclosure. It was a great hair night & I was feeling myself. I’m sure I looked ridiculous whipping my hair around every 30 seconds, pretending like someone said something to me. Nevertheless, attitude was on TEN. Don’t judge.
#5 – Disposable Income
I just got paid. It was Friday night… Need I say more?
Moral of the story, set personal expectations for the night prior to drinking & hold yourself accountable. If I had checked my mood before heading out, I may have avoided the debauchery that ensued. Either way, my nights usually end up with me cutting the line at the hot dog stand & daring someone to say something. So baby steps I guess...
This was just my list. If I missed anything, leave a comment below!